Do you know someone who always seems to bounce back from adversity without a scratch? While they may seem like a superhuman, it turns out anyone can learn this skill with intentional practice. We asked our mindfulness community for the answers -- welcoming contributions from Gisela Andras (Psychology, MBA Student), Diana Zapata (Photographer), and Erin Houston (CEO and Co-Founder of Wearwell).
Connecting regularly is a great way for building relationships. Gisela says, “this goes beyond just actively keeping in touch, a lot of the magic is in actively keeping them in [your] heart, integrating them into [your] daily life and daily practices.”
For Diana “it’s important to have a balance between how much talking you do and how much listening as well.” This way you “nurture those relationships and it also gives perspective when you might feel like you’re the only one suffering through difficulties.” Of course, we can’t forget that “it’s a two-way street!” Erin reminds us that it’s important to “support those same people whenever they need it most.”
Find Meaning In Failure
As Diana puts it, “focusing on what’s lost is the best way to stay stuck. A setback or a challenge is just an opportunity for growth.” Erin adds, “if you fail at something, find meaning in learning how you missed the mark. If you face a setback you didn't expect, find another way to accomplish what you set out to do.”
While it can be easy to feel defeated, there are some tools at your disposal. In stressful moments, Erin repeats a simple mantra, “it's only a matter of resiliency and time before I'll be on the other side of it.” Gisela uses meditation as “an incredibly powerful tool to gain a healthy distance from [her] immediate emotions... and reassess the situation.”
In Diana’s words, “the challenge is always to accept that these plans might (and most likely will) derail, but the opportunity here is to be able to adapt and adjust.” Erin says, “it's a lot easier to roll with the punches and hurdles that come up,” when you understand your bigger life purpose.
“Remind yourself that we are in constant fluctuations, it is normal to feel defeated sometimes, but getting back up is also part of the process,” suggests Diana. If you find yourself feeling pessimistic, Gisela recommends to “focus on the present moment and slow down your breathing,” so you can see things in perspective. A visual cue or reminder can also be a good reminder to stay inspired. Erin has the words, “Gratitude attracts more reasons to be grateful" framed on her bedside table.”
“There will always be a ‘what if’ but it is never important because it is non-existent,” says Diana. Erin reminds us, “you can't change the past, but you can adjust and course-correct in the future.” If you have a big life decision, take a night to sleep on it. If you still feel the same way in the morning, stick to that choice and run with it.
If you still find your mind racing, Gisela always comes back to her meditation practice. “It gives me a tool to shed all those layers, find my inner voice and have the strength to listen.” For further reading, check out 4 Ways to Manage A Restless Mind.